The Puppet Master Read online

  Billie

  Billie was sat on her worn, black armchair, tapping her foot constantly against the small coffee table. It was the only other piece of furniture apart from her bed in the corner of the room. When she had returned home yesterday, Mrs Kaye had popped over to see if the cooker had been fixed. Billie hadn’t really been listening because something was nagging at her, in the back of her mind. She felt like something wasn’t right, or that she’d forgotten to do something. But she tried to ignore it and concentrate on what Mrs Kaye was saying.

  “He was such a lovely gentleman,” she said.

  “What are you talking about, Mrs Kaye?” Billie said.

  “The electrician, dear. Keep up.” Sending her a sharp irritated look.

  “I didn’t need an electrician. He was in this flat?” As soon as she said it, it clicked. The tea towel was folded up in a perfect square on the draining board. And Bobby’s food dish was on the other side of the front door. The more she looked, she noticed that lots of things had been moved from where they were. That was what had been niggling at her.

  “Mrs Kaye, why on earth did you let him in the flat without my permission?”

  “Well you don’t have a phone, dear. And as I was telling you, he was such a lovely gentleman.”

  “But I didn’t need an electrician. Why was this man in my flat? Who was he?” She was starting to panic now. Who the hell had come into her flat and messed about with her stuff?

  “Calm down, dear, there must have been a misunderstanding. Stop acting like someone burgled you. If you’d have met Jim you would know that. He’s such a lively soul. So kind and generous. Wouldn’t even let me make him a drink, he insisted on making me one. Hark at that,” Mrs Kaye said it as if that settled the matter.

  “But he’s moved things around in the flat. Look,” Billie pointed at the tea towel, “that wasn’t there this morning, I keep it in the drawer.” Mrs Kaye gave Billie a pointed look.

  “I’m sure you’ve just forgotten that you put it there. What an earth would Jim want with your tea towel?” She walked out the door grumbling about ‘the youth of today’.

  So now she was stuck in a flat that now felt unsafe. She knew that it was probably just the electrician’s idea of a joke. A ridiculous one. But it still filled her with fear and a sense of being violated. This was her space. Normally she loved her little flat, when she looked around it she saw freedom and safety. There was a stage in her life when she thought that she wasn’t going to get to her twenty-first birthday, but now here she was in her own private space that she shared with no one but her beautiful cat, Bobby. He was under the coffee table and he kept taking a swipe at her foot, his cat way of telling her to leave his table alone. She couldn’t help fidgeting. She wanted to leave, get outside and clear her head. All day she had kept finding things that had been moved; the bin, her pillows and duvet. But the only place she felt safe going would put her in danger of seeing him. She wouldn’t risk another encounter with that man in the cafe.

  The bookshop had become a part of her routine. It was somewhere to go when her flat became too confined, and it broke up the monotony of her life. She would go to the bookcases and choose whose life she was going to live vicariously through that week. Billie was alone. She had had no family in her life for over five years. Ironically, she searched for books that would give her a substitute family, an improved version of what she had. But being fictional, it distanced them enough from her to prevent her from truly feeling the devastating pain that only families can inflict. They were the best form of therapy, according to her neighbour, Mrs Kaye.

  Mrs Kaye lived in the flat across from Billie’s on the first floor. Billie was unable to get rid of her, no matter how much she ignored her. When Billie moved into the flat, she soon realised no one warned her about the crazy old lady next door. Billie remembered the first time she had answered the door to her. Mrs Kaye had walked in leaning heavily on her stick, her straw-like hair was in erratic wisps around her face. She looked fragile and frail but once sat with a cup of tea in her hand, she’d instructed Billie on where everything should go.

  “I really don’t think your bookcases should go there. Be a dear and move them over the other side.” Since that day Mrs Kaye had decided that they were firm friends. Billie was trying to stay away from people and at first she was worried that Mrs Kaye had an ulterior motive. But one night, six months later, made her realise that maybe Mrs Kaye wasn’t so bad. It was a Tuesday night; Billie had woken up sweating and crying. Her dream was so vivid. She couldn’t stop shaking. She was on the floor by her bed. Terrified. A knock at the door stole all the breath from her lungs. It rang out through the flat, interrupting the silence that only darkness can bring. She thought she might die from fear until she heard Mrs Kaye’s muffled voice through the door.

  “Let me in, dear,” said Mrs Kaye. For a minute, Billie was convinced she was going to hurt her. The dreams fresh in her mind warped what she knew about Mrs Kaye. “I’m not leaving until you let me in, dear.” Without options, Billie hesitantly opened the door. Mrs Kaye’s hazel eyes softened as she looked at Billie’s tear-stained face.

  “Is everything okay, dear?” she said in a gentle voice.

  “I’m fine.”

  “Well, forgive me for saying so, but you don’t look it. And I heard you screaming.” She took Billie’s arm and led her to her bed. “Why don’t we just sit here for a minute until you feel better?” she said. In the quiet, Billie could hear her ragged breathing, the grips of her nightmare still clinging to her. Mrs Kaye must have sensed this as she was rubbing her back in soothing circles. The first touch made Billie’s body lock up, but the repetitive movement and the calming presence of the elderly lady calmed her. They sat there for a while, until Mrs Kaye got up and made Billie a ‘nice cup of tea’ and brought it over to her.

  “Feeling better now, dear?” When Billie nodded, Mrs Kaye got up and left, reminding Billie that she was only across the hall. Since then Billie had hesitantly returned Mrs Kaye’s friendship, although she was still wary of her. But she wasn’t as scared of her.

  Reminding herself of that night, the nightmares she had to go through, she knew that she was stronger than this. She’d lived through the past, and come out fighting. The bookshop near her was the only place that she felt comfortable enough going to. She’d tried to go to a bookshop in the city centre before, and it had ended up with her in the hospital. She had been walking down the street when someone had knocked her into a man. She would have fallen to the floor but he gripped her arms tightly and righted both of them. The feel of his grasp on her arm triggered her panic. Her lungs closed tight and she had to force herself to breathe. People’s voices surrounded her. Clogging up her brain when all she needed was to concentrate on breathing. Hands touched her. Pulling one way and another. Blackness closed in. She woke up in a hospital bed. They discharged her quickly and she had to find her own way home. Never again had she ventured further than a couple of streets away from the flat. When she left the Lake District to go to university, she had promised herself that she would never hide again, and she would be free to live her life as she chose. It wasn’t as easy as she thought it was going to be. She spent most of her time seeing danger around every corner. But she couldn’t stay inside; she needed to get out. After university, she stayed in Worcester, it was beginning to feel like home to her, she knew it well enough to feel safe there. Well, as safe as she could ever feel.

  Mind made up, Billie walked down the road from her block of flats. She said a curt “hello” to Mrs Kaye – she was still furious with her – as she left the building. It was a crisp day, but the sun was shining which thawed the chill from the air. She liked days like this. The air felt fresh, and the sun accentuated the green in the park that she had to pass to get to the high street. The high street was just one street with shops, cafes and restaurants on either side and more significantly, there were very few people. The cobbled road between the shops was different shades of grey, some o
f which sparkled in the sunlight.

  Billie still kept her head down only looking up when she passed the green expanse of the park – she couldn’t resist the beauty of it. She spent a lot of time walking around in that park. The oval shaped lake was flanked all the way around by a pathway which diverted every now and then through the trees. She was tempted to go and take another long walk around it today. There was nothing like seeing delicate flowers, diverse shades of greens and hearing the chirping of birds, they put everything into perspective. They reminded her that the world was much bigger than her and the trauma that she had experienced. She went there whenever she felt the darkness from her past filling her up inside. The beauty and serene setting would drive out the darkness, and she remembered that there was far more beauty in the world than evil. But it was just that bit too cold today, and she knew that she would just be avoiding the bookshop and who might be there.

  She walked into the bookstore and was tempted to remain in the doorway, the heating from the air conditioning was blasting down and warming her from head to toe. This idea was disturbed by pain, as an elderly lady with a walking stick whacked her legs and told her to get out the way. She scooted towards the cafe. She was so scared that she would see him that she didn’t dare look up; she navigated by the flooring and only looked up when she arrived at the counter.

  Picking up a tray, she made herself a coffee on the machine, and spent a minute or so assessing which was the biggest piece of chocolate cake. Finding her usual table free, Billie looked around the room from her seat in the corner and breathed a sigh of relief. Her routine was back in play. She sometimes fervently wished that she didn’t feel this terrified about forming relationships with anyone. But it was better this way. She was content with her life. Other people only brought her pain or trouble, mostly both. She enjoyed watching the people in the cafe for a good thirty minutes and then went in search of her next literary journey.

  Billie decided to go into the park on her way back from the bookshop. She was happy and rather proud of herself. Her uneventful time had bolstered her confidence and stopped her from wanting to run home like she normally did. She had a bag with two new books in it, which she switched to her left hand as she opened the gate to the park. She breathed in the cool breeze as it swept towards her, enveloping her in a greeting. As she walked around the lake along the small brown path, she tried to locate the birds that she could hear merrily chirping in the trees, but green leaves camouflaged them. She rounded the top of the lake and began on the path that would take her down the other side, revelling in thinking only of her surroundings. It wasn’t the biggest lake, but it was still lovely watching the ducks swim on it, speaking their own secret language and doing whatever ducks do each day. This snapshot of nature invigorated her, and her consciousness got swept away, and she became absorbed in the magic of nature.

  Noises up ahead on the path disrupted her revelry. She could see three teenagers further along the path, blocking it. They were talking to each other; one was on a bike. She thought about going back the way she had come but it was too late, all three of them had swivelled their heads and were looking at her. They are just boys, she told herself, and she began to walk towards them. The one with the bike was blocking the path, and there was no way around him. She took a deep breath and put on her best ‘I’m irritated’ face and asked the boys to move.

  “Can I get through please?”

  “But we want to talk to you. We love talkin’ to pretty girls,” said the boy on the bike. He looked around at his friends, seeking assurance that he had said something funny. The other two laughed on command, and he returned to leering at her. Billie felt sick inside, but she was trying to hold herself together. She was nervous. With the matching baseball caps on backwards combined with chavy tracksuits which shouted their need to be cool, they just looked like children. However, there was no doubt the three of them could quite easily overpower her. She tried not to overreact; they were probably all talk. Refusing to cower, she drew herself up straight.

  “No thanks. Now get out of the way before I call the police.” Thankfully, her voice didn’t shake like her body was. The boy nearest to her began to laugh.

  “Feisty one, you are,” he said.

  She gave up reasoning with them and tried to edge around the boy closest to her until she was in front of the kid with the bike. She’d been through so much more; it was frustrating that she was allowing these boys to scare her.

  One of them spoke up from behind her. “I think she likes you, Marv.”

  He must have closed the gap between them as he was now so close to her.

  She could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

  The boy in front of her smirked. Thoroughly enjoying himself.

  “Oh darling, I’d take you right here if you asked,” he said.

  Hands came from behind her, grabbing her arms. Immobilising her. His fingers dug so hard that she nearly cried out in pain. She knew by now that she on the verge of having a full blown panic attack. It was getting harder to breathe, like someone was clutching her throat as well as her arms. Her throat tightened. The pounding of her heart was so loud in her ears; she momentarily wondered if her heart had moved. She knew she needed to stop panicking but she didn’t know how, which made her panic more. She could hear herself wheezing and tried to force air into her lungs. Her fear seemed to be encouraging them.

  “She’s pantin’ with need, Marv. Put her out of her misery,” said one of the boys.

  She was thrown to the floor by someone behind her. She berated her body for being so weak. Unable to concentrate on her surroundings because she was barely breathing. The threats and the aggression were triggering memories she’d never revisited. Her lips tingled, and black splotches clouded her vision.

  “Stop!” roared a voice from somewhere behind her. It was too deep to be one of the boys. She didn’t have any energy to turn and look at her rescuer. She felt rather than saw the boys turn around. The looming shadows had moved away from her. She took the chance to curl into a protective ball. She focused just on breathing. That became impossible as the ‘Marv’ on the bike drove over her, trying to get to his friends. Unfortunately for them both, she was on the ground, and she became lodged between his front and back tyres. She heard pounding footsteps getting closer. In his desperation, Marv got on the bike and his strength forced the tyre over her body. It had dragged her a short distance until it gained enough momentum to drive over her. She cried out in agony. The shock seemed to have jump-started her lungs into working as her mind focused upon the waves of agony coursing through her, rather than her difficulty breathing. She closed her eyes and waited for the next attack. Maybe she was better off dead. Her body had felt too much pain in her lifetime. She tried to sink into the brown dirt of the path, wanting to disappear, to escape from this cruel world and the pulses of pain that her body was suffering.

  Soft hands took her face, but she cringed away. She couldn’t stand to be touched; she just wanted to be left alone. Her body was shaking with fear of what was to come next. She didn’t dare open her eyes in case one of the boys had come back to finish what they’d started.

  “Are you okay?” a male voice said. She began to hyperventilate at the sound of the masculine voice. “Hey, calm down, I won’t hurt you. I promise.” The softness of his voice and the gentleness of his hands on her face calmed her enough, so she felt that she could cautiously open her eyes. They widened in shock. It was the man from the bookshop. Of course it was. She wasn’t lucky enough to have a stranger to rescue her.

  Adam

  When Billie ran out on him, he could have kicked himself. He pushed it too hard. As soon as he called her beautiful, a voice in his head spoke up: well that was stupid. It was like ice came crashing down from the sky, reinforcing her defences and he knew that he’d lost his opportunity. He had sat there, trying to ignore the old ladies at the next table who were giving him their very best how could you frown – presuming whatever just transpire
d between him and Billie was his fault. He wouldn’t give up though. When he first noticed her, she had been lost in thought, her head tilted to the sky, and her shoulders were relaxed. She must come here a lot to feel that comfortable. He figured that she would end up coming back to the bookshop at some point.

  On what felt like the seventieth day of hanging around the bookshop to no avail, he had been politely cornered by the manager to ask if there was a problem as a member of staff had reported his ‘hanging’ around and that they were getting quite concerned as he never bought anything. He hurriedly left the bookshop red-faced and looked around as if to find some inspiration for what he could do now. Then he spotted the back of her head, the fiery red hair sparkling in the sun, walking across the path towards the park. He shook his head to make sure it wasn’t a mirage. No, there she was, walking through the gate into the park.

  Before he knew what he was doing, he was crossing the road and jogging up the path to catch her. As he got closer to her, he slowed his pace and came to a stop. He needed to compose himself. Each time he saw her, he felt this anger flare within him, and he then had to use every ounce of self-control to be nice to her. Her small stature belied the evil nature that hid inside. But he needed to quash feelings like that if he was going to get her story. He made the mistake of going in too strong with her last time, he needed to be careful. Work out how to get past the walls of steel she had built around herself. From their last conversation, he realised she didn’t give anything away easily. But then those with something to hide rarely do.

  Taking deep breaths, mentally trying to visualise his anger and expel it like he’d read somewhere, he continued to follow the path around the lake. His eyes rested on a family of ducks and he smiled and let their innocence fill his mind. He envied their gentle life with their basic needs. He loved nature, it had made him feel less alone throughout his life. He’d love to be a duck, they wouldn’t go off getting drunk.