The Puppet Master Read online

  He had told Billie how he loved to be outside in the world, and she had made a comment about how some people have a reason to stay away and hide. As she said this, it wasn’t shame or guilt he caught in her expression but pure unadulterated terror. She seemed to realise that she had spoken without her usual careful consideration because when she quickly altered her face into a shy smile. He tried to prolong the moment, to get her to keep her defences down and confide in him but it was too late. She denied anything had happened to her, and he left it there. It stayed with him, though, the way her whole body had shuddered and her vivid green eyes had widened in fear. He’d never seen anyone look so afraid.

  From then on he vowed to watch her more carefully. Maybe she was just the world’s best actress. He couldn’t afford to fall for her lies if she was deceiving him. The whole point of this was to get justice for the people she’d hurt, not become another victim. He needed to be more subtle. He was relentless in spending time with her from then on. After every date, he felt like he was making progress. It was hard because he was actually enjoying himself. Despite everything he knew about her, he couldn’t deny that he liked being around her. When she wasn’t so guarded, she had a wicked sense of humour. She had a sort of childish, innocent sense of humour. She loved to trip him up and put ice cream in his face. He smiled at the memory. It was getting easier to persuade her to lower her guard, but it was getting harder to keep his own up.

  He tried to draw her out, to bring the conversation around to her past, but each time he did her body would stiffen, and her eyes looked at everything but him. It was as if he’d jumped on a button that switched on her defences. She would not admit anything, and he couldn’t insinuate anything because then he would tip his hand and he would never get to the bottom of what happened and justice for the lives she had ruined.

  They were in the car coming back from a trip to the Cotswolds, they’d had lunch at a nice cafe in Bourton-on-the-Water, and it was just normal. They had so much in common, and the conversation flowed smoothly between them. She didn’t judge him; she didn’t expect anything from him. She just wanted to spend time with him. Adam had had a very lonely childhood. No one wanted to come home to Adam’s house in case his alcoholic father landed back and either terrified or embarrassed him. A year or so after his mother’s death he stopped getting pity invites to parties and was never invited anywhere as the parents didn’t enjoy listening to his father’s drunken rants. He’d had friends at university and he had a good group of friends that he went to the pub with every now and then but he had never let anyone this close to him. He’d had a few flings but he was the classic late twenties commitment-phobe. He guessed he was just used to being independent and the thought of relying on someone or someone relying on him just terrified him.

  But he was finding it so easy to spend time with Billie. He’d even held her hand today for the first time. He shouldn’t have enjoyed it as much as he did but it just felt so right. Walking down the ‘Venice of the Cotswolds’ with her, having silly banter about the sheer amount of elderly people around them and picking out potential dates for each other. Until today, every time that he had accidentally made physical contact with Billie, it made him feel like a monster. He had brushed her back with his hand to lead her through a door of a museum they visited and she had noticeably flinched and shrunk away from him. Within a split second, she had recovered and laughed it off saying she thought it was a ghost – they were in the Coffin Museum, so he’d let it go. But he tried again to touch her when they’d gone for lunch at the West Midlands Safari Park. They had sat down for doughnuts that had smelled irresistible at the time but to their amusement were really sickly after one. She had sugar on the corner of her mouth and he thought it was a perfect excuse to initiate some physical contact, as soon as his finger touched her face she lurched back so far that she fell off the back of the bench they were sitting on. Adam laughed when he saw her legs sticking up while the rest of her lay on the floor. But inside he was concerned and confused that she was so uncomfortable with his touch. It didn’t add up to what he knew about her. He realised later that he was hurt that she had rejected him. Oh dear. That’s not good. He punished himself with one hour on his treadmill when he got back to his flat. But today, she hadn’t minded that he’d held her hand. He couldn’t resist and had even prepared himself for rejection but he was delighted when she didn’t do anything but gently held his hand back. He had only just managed to stop himself from dancing a victory dance. As he looked over at her in the car, he was wondering that if it took him just over two months to hold her hand, how long exactly it was going to take to get her secrets.

  Billie

  Billie was attempting to clean the kitchen when there was a knock on the door. It was only an attempt to clean because every time she moved on to clean something else, Bobby would jump up onto whichever surface she had wiped down and roll around on it. He looked so cute doing it she somehow ended up stroking him. Pleased to have a distraction she opened the door, smiling in anticipation of seeing Adam. Long gone were the days when she would have hidden under the bed at the sound of someone at her door. Adam looked just as handsome as ever.

  “I’ve got something for you,” he told her with a smug smile. God, she loved that smile. He crossed the threshold and sat himself down in her worn, black chair. “Come here then.” She walked over to where he was sitting and perched down on the edge. She was getting a lot more comfortable with being physically close to Adam. She was finding it easier to conquer her involuntary reactions to his touch. She never ever thought she would be able to have anyone touch her again without it striking the fear of God into her, but here she was. She had even held his hand and let him hug her goodbye. She blushed when she thought of that hug. Adam’s arms had surrounded her, she’d thought that because she was slightly bigger in size to him that she would feel awkward. But it couldn’t have been better. His arms held her tightly and she felt like she was invisible to the world. This feeling of safety and happiness bubbled up from her heart. It seemed to travel through her nerve endings until every single part of her felt content and relaxed. She hadn’t wanted to let go. It was the first time since she was eleven years old that she had felt safe. That was a big deal for Billie and she was quite overwhelmed.

  Adam pulled a box from the inside pocket of his jacket. At the sight of a jewellery box, she felt sick. The memory of the last time she’d been given jewellery was beating at her brain, taking advantage of the situation and trying to be relived in her mind. She swallowed the memory and forced her mouth to smile. Everything was alright. Just breathe and smile. She took the proffered box from him and opened it with shaky hands. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything. She was generating an appropriate response in her head when she actually saw the bracelet. This time, she really was going to be sick. She threw the box back at Adam and ran to her small bathroom, thankful that it had a door and wasn’t open plan like the rest of her flat. She just managed to get her head to the toilet before she was sick. Her defences against her memories were shattered, and images and sounds and words invaded her mind, forcing her to recall the most horrific experiences of her life. When there was nothing left in her body to expel she grabbed at the flannel on the sink and tried with every fibre of her being to compose herself. She knew without looking that Adam was at the bathroom door.

  She didn’t meet his gaze as she spoke, “I’d like you to leave. I’m not feeling well.”

  “You were fine two minutes ago. What the hell? I give you a present and you look like you’ve seen a ghost and then this? I want an explanation.”

  His raised voice frightened her, especially as she was still suffering the lingering feeling of the memories she had just relived. Her body began to quake more violently and she had to sit on the edge of bath.

  “Please, Adam, just go.”

  “Well, at least put the bracelet on. I spent hours choosing it.”

  Her refusal burst from her like a knee-jerk reaction, “NO! I
don’t want it.”

  “What? Why?”

  In a small voice, she tried anxiously to explain her way out of this without telling him the truth. A truth she couldn’t even remember without it traumatising her.

  “Please, Adam, you shouldn’t have got me anything. I’m not your girlfriend, we’re just friends.”

  “Bollocks. I care about you and you care about me. I don’t understand you. What’s going on? Talk to me. Please.”

  “I’d like you to leave.” She could feel her mind shutting down, her body was so weak and she felt like she was about to dissolve on the spot.

  “Whatever, see you around,” shouted Adam, his hurt was evident in his eyes.

  Oh Adam, she thought, I wish you knew.

  The slamming of the door released the sobs she hadn’t known she was holding back.

  Adam

  Bloody hell. It was just a bracelet. Adam hit the steering wheel with his hand, venting his frustration. Well, she was making it easier to hate her now. He wished he’d never bothered. You’d think he just offered her a bomb. All the way home he fumed, swerving in and out of lanes and speeding where he shouldn’t. He told himself to get a grip. After all, it shouldn’t bother him so much. It wasn’t like this was a real relationship. Even she didn’t consider it one. He was just so angry. He couldn’t help it. It was like fire in his veins and he just wanted to lash out at someone or something. He was so sure that she’d love it. He’d spent all day yesterday in the Bull Ring shopping centre trying to find something perfect. Something to help him woo her. It was like an unwritten rule of dating, you like the girl – you buy her gifts. Well, that’s what they did in the few films he’d watched that had any romance in. He was more of a man’s man when it came to films. But he spent ages agonising over what to get her. He’d never bought a girl anything so the night before he had persuaded his uncle to meet him in Birmingham so that he could help him get it right. He was so glad he did because his uncle knew just what to go for and after looking at everything on offer in his price range – he was only a columnist – he’d gone with his uncle’s first suggestion from two hours ago. Pointedly ignoring the smug look his uncle shot him when he handed over his card.

  “Trust me, son, she’ll love it. I know what works with women. Haven’t I always steered you right?” asked his uncle as he ruffled Adam’s hair like he was seven again.

  “Yes, yes, you were right. Now get off.” Playfully pushing his uncle away.

  “Besides, the way you’ve been going on about this girl I feel like I know her myself so I think this would suit her down to the ground.”

  Adam felt instantly defensive. It was bad enough that he was aware that Billie was getting under his skin, he couldn’t stand to look a fool in his uncle’s eyes. His uncle didn’t realise how important it was for Adam to get this story. He’d been vague with his uncle about what he was doing with Billie. He’d even changed her name when his uncle had asked about it. He couldn’t take any risks. He needed to find out what happened and that meant doing whatever it took to get Billie to trust him.

  “I don’t talk about her that much! I told you, I’m just doing it for a story. I don’t really like her; this is just part of my plan.” The lies tasted horrible on his tongue. But once he’d written his story. Once he’d made Billie suffer the consequences of what she had done, then his uncle would understand.

  “Alright son, I was just teasing you. Can’t a loving uncle tease his beloved nephew?” questioned Eric, while wrapping his arm around Adam’s neck. “Come on, let’s get dinner and we can talk tactics for wooing your fake girlfriend.”

  Adam pulled into his parking space and sat in the car, trying to slow his irate thoughts. Why was he so wound up? He thought it was probably because he was so fed up of not knowing. No matter what he tried to do, she just would not trust him. It was infuriating. He knew what the police reports said. He knew what the press at the time had said. He knew what the people she had hurt said. But he didn’t know what she knew, no one did. The way she reacted when he gave her that bracelet. He replayed it in his head in slow motion. He could see she was nervous when he pulled out the box. Now he thought about it, he could was sure she winced at the sight of it. It was as if she didn’t like jewellery. He’d never seen her wear any, but still, it didn’t make any sense. Once she opened it, her eyes went wide in shock and her face paled. She got up so quickly and ran to the bathroom. He had stared after her, baffled.

  Why would she get so upset over a bracelet? The family that she had hurt had described her as cold, calculating and manipulative. Was this part of her manipulation? But why would she fake being sick over a bracelet? Unless it brought back bad memories? Was she sick from the guilt? Or did it provoke such a physical reaction because it reminded her of the past? Maybe he was missing something. No. No. He shut down that thought. What he already knew was fact, there was no disputing that. Was there? Adam’s head pulsated with pain. He just needed to hear it from her. He knew there was more to the story. He needed to hear it from her. He had spent enough time with her to study her reactions and her body language. He would know the truth when he heard it. He pulled back out of his drive and set off back to Billie’s house. He would make this right and continue with his quest to find out the truth. He had invested too much of himself to quit now.

  Chapter Six

  Billie

  “I’m sorry.” Adam stood at her door. The very picture of a puppy who knows he’s screwed up but hopes his cute face would get him out of trouble. It was distressing to see, especially when he hadn’t done anything wrong. She should be down on bended knee thanking him for coming back. She couldn’t understand why, after a lifetime of bad luck, she was being blessed with a man like this. After all she had done in her past, she didn’t deserve it.

  “Please can we talk?” his earnest voice and sad eyes brought tears to her eyes. She moved aside to let him enter. To her surprise he just followed her and his large hands took her face and held it gently. It was such a tender gesture that she didn’t feel the need to flinch. “I’m sorry I upset you so much. I was just trying to do something nice for you. I didn’t mean to overwhelm you.” She didn’t really know what to say. She had barely any experience with relationships. Did she have to tell him the truth now? Or could she just apologise and they would move on? What was expected of her?

  Like he could read her thoughts, he continued. “Look, why don’t we put it to one side for the moment and spend a nice evening together. I really care about you and I don’t want… whatever this is, to end.” He pulled her close to him and held her tight as if he thought she was going to run away. She sagged into him. Wishing that she’d had someone to hold her all the times she’d cried herself to sleep; this was the most soothing feeling she’d ever experienced. It felt like his strength and warmth was seeping into her and a warm feeling bloomed in her chest. Adam pulled her back and his hands returned to her face.

  “Billie, would you mind… I mean… would it be okay… could I please kiss you?” His gaze was as soft as a caress. When she slightly inclined her head. He moved slowly towards her until his body was pressed up against hers. A finger tenderly traced the line of her cheekbone and jaw. His mouth moved towards hers and she sensed his breath brush across her face before the warmth of his lips touched against hers. Her heart jolted and her pulse pounded. She had only been kissed by two people in her life but she knew she would never ever experience a kiss like this again. It was gentle, yet so intense. He raised his mouth from hers and gazed into her eyes. She was weak from the intensity of emotions she’d just experienced.

  “Should we watch a film?”

  Billie blushed as she thought, no let’s do that all night. Reading her mind, Adam reclaimed her lips, more demanding this time. The kiss sent the pit of her stomach into a wild swirl. Everything else just melted away. All she knew was the feel of his lips against hers, the hands caressing her face and his powerful, warm body, pressed up against her. With a confidence she neve
r knew she had, she wound her hands under his jacket, circling him. Under his shirt, she could feel the strong muscles in his back.

  After he had gone, Billie lay in her bed and made a decision. She was no longer going to worry about her relationship with Adam. If she kept forecasting its end, she would never get to enjoy it. So much of her life had been ruined by fear she would not let it take this away from her. He made her realise that she could be happy. She wanted to trust him. So she would.

  Adam

  Adam ran from his car to into his flat, trying to escape from the stormy weather that was viciously attacking him. It only took a matter of seconds to get into the front door but he was thoroughly drenched. He shut the door on the brooding grey clouds that were gathering in the sky. It matched his anger at himself. He should not have kissed her. Why did he kiss her? He knew that he was getting too close and that kiss… It was unbelievable. He’d kissed plenty of women. But the connection between when he’d kissed her had electrified him. Pleasure had radiated through him. He couldn’t stop. He should not have kissed her.

  He poured himself a whisky; hoping to drown out the feelings that the kiss had awakened. When the whisky didn’t work, he went over to his desk in the corner of his bedroom and pulled out the file on Billie. He looked at the pictures of her victims and read the statements from those she had hurt. He read until the words blurred on the page. That night for the first time since he was a child, he had nightmares. Images of Billie kissing him and then, as he turned to leave, stabbing him in the back with a steel grey kitchen knife, plagued his dreams. When he awoke, he knew that he needed to get answers.