The Puppet Master Page 13

  She walked downstairs still with the phone to her ear, she walked through the front room, kitchen and into the hallway and opened the back door. The red patio stones were freezing against her bare feet, she walked to the right of the door towards the bench, she lifted up the small mahogany plant pot and found a scrap of paper. She darted back into the house, paper in hand.

  “Got it,” she said into the phone but was met with the dial tone. How rude. Anticipation got the better of her and she unfolded a scrap of paper and read: ‘will you go out with me?’ Her mouth broke out into the biggest smile and she lit up from the inside. She had spent so much time longing to be with Carl, she had converted her music taste, bought a skateboard. She had changed herself to someone he could like; she knew if he really knew her, he would run away screaming. But even so, she had spent every waking minute picturing his perfect brown hair that hung in a slight curl towards the end and what it would be like if she could run her hand through it. He was the coolest person she had ever met and she couldn’t even believe he was her friend let alone was now asking her to be his girlfriend. As one of the few kids his age in the village, she spent a lot of time with him. She wasn’t modest, but she honestly couldn’t work out what he saw in her. At school, she was picked on, in front of him. The school was full of perfect girls, they were slim and tall and even in their school uniform they looked like models. She just felt like a frumpy penguin with red hair.

  Even though she couldn’t work it out, she was still on top of the world. It was the best feeling, she couldn’t stop smiling. She went upstairs in a daze and pondered the fact that one of the most romantic people in the world was going to be her boyfriend.

  It had been an amazing few weeks being with Carl, Eric was still away and so she had been able to spend most weekends with him. When they were at school, he walked with her to the school bus, they sat and waited together, writing messages to each other in their homework diaries about what they loved the best about each other. Then they would have their lunch together, sit together in the lessons that they both had, and then they would sit together on the bus home. After tea, they would meet and go to the school field, climb up onto the container that you could access by a fence built next to it, and they would kiss. She couldn’t believe the kissing. It was sensational. She was so nervous when they shared their first kiss. She had no idea what to do and hoped that she could just copy what he did. As it happened, she was a natural according to Carl. He was so passionate with his kisses, he would hold her face with both his hands and then his lips would meld to hers, moans escaping every now and then, making her hormones go wild. She was no longer alone. But that itself caused her a lot of conflicting emotions.

  Billie found it really confusing that despite what was happening to her in her secret life, she was still able to feel such passion and wanting for Carl. She thought that she would be numb to sex and all it entailed. This only confused Billie more, she knew inside that what Eric was doing was wrong but maybe there was something wrong with her. It was hard because he hadn’t hurt her. In fact, he treated her like a princess and smothered her with love and attention. It was only occasionally that he would do something like what happened at the caravan. She had started to reduce the amount of time she spent there because a few times she had woken up with no clothes on. Eric was nowhere to be found and her head would be pounding. After the third time this had happened she decided to give seeing Eric a break. She loved his attention but she was freaked out.

  She couldn’t talk to anyone about what was happening and she dared not look it up on the computer because she shared it with Holly. The only information that she had been able to glean about what was happening was from an article that she had read in one of those trashy magazines full of other people’s stories. The one she had read had the headline ‘Mother stole my husband and my dog’. There was also an article about how a stepfather had abused his stepdaughter. The daughter had described how she felt dead inside and that she was unable to have a sex life now because she was so traumatised. Why wasn’t Billie feeling like this? She deserved what was happening to her if she didn’t react like that, maybe that is why it was going on because she wasn’t an ordinary person. It was best not thinking about. Besides, being with Carl had shrunk the target on her back to a certain extent at school. She was gradually being talked to and accepted. She didn’t want her other life to ruin this. If she could keep Eric and Carl happy, then she felt that she had a chance to be happy as well.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  2008

  Adam

  “I think Sylvia is cheating on me.” Adam nearly choked on his sandwich. He turned to look at his uncle, to check that he wasn’t joking. His uncle never talked about Sylvia or his life up North with Adam unless it was by accident or Adam had directly asked. He would always give Adam advice and help him, guide him, but he never asked for any support in return. It was more a father-son relationship where the son doesn’t really know anything about the father’s problems as he is protected from them. So he was shocked at this personal revelation. His uncle must really be upset. Adam wished he hadn’t told him though because he did not know the right thing to say.

  “Really? Why do you think that?”

  His uncle laughed, but there was no joy in it.

  “The stupid bitch isn’t very clever at hiding it. Parading all over the village with him.”

  Adam was stunned. From the little he knew about affairs, people usually strove to keep them secret. “She was lucky to land me and now she is throwing it back in my face. After all the attention I showered on her. All her whiny moans and all the comfort I’ve provided her. I’ve spent these past four years looking after her and this is what I get in return.” His mouth was drawn in anger and there was a fury that Adam had never seen before in his eyes. His sandwich was just a bready-pulp in his hand. Realising what he’d done, he threw it back onto the plate.

  They were sat outside of the local pub near Adam’s house. Luckily no one could see or hear his uncle’s outburst or his bad table manners.

  “Four years? You and Sylvia have been together for more than that I thought.”

  “Your right, but not much more. I’m getting old, son. Forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on.” His uncle sighed and his whole body deflated. But then he seemed to remember what they had been talking about and his anger re-inflated his body and he was tense again. “That’s irrelevant anyway. The fact is she is cheating on me, and I’m not sure how to handle it.”

  “So you haven’t spoken to her about it then?”

  “Oh no, I want to be able to control myself when I talk to her about it, right now I’m too angry.”

  Adam could tell, his uncle looked so wound up. His body was shaking; he kept clenching his fists and his eyes blazed anger that lit his eyes up, ready to scorch anything that made eye contact.

  “You definitely need to talk to her. It’s out of order what she did. You are the most amazing person I know and you don’t deserve to be treated like this.” Adam tried to sound confident with his advice, but really, he was out of his depth. He kept his eyes on the remainder of his sandwich, not wanting his uncle to see how uncomfortable he was.

  “I’m thinking I might confront her when she’s next with him.” He sneered at the ‘him’ as if the guy was something he stepped on.

  That didn’t sound good, thought Adam, but what could he say, he was only young. He’d only had one girlfriend. Adam didn’t need to answer, as his uncle continued, it seemed he was oblivious to everything while he decided what to do.

  “That’s what I’ll do, I’ll follow her and when she’s with him. I’ll let her see me. I can just imagine the sick feeling she’ll get when she sees me. When she realises I know what she’s been doing. Of course, I’ll forgive her. In time. But for now. The power will be mine.”

  Adam felt a shiver down his spine at his uncle’s words. That wasn’t right surely. He sounded happy she had screwed up. There must be a better way to handle a
ll this.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way. But that sounds a bit mean. I know she’s done bad but why don’t you just talk to her? And why are you forgiving her anyway? She’s broken your trust.”

  “Son, I forget sometimes you are still so young. What you need to understand is, I’ve invested so much of my time, of myself, into forging this relationship. Yes, she has messed up, but she will know it and realise her mistake and then we can move on. I think I may have confused you before when I said I will have the power, what I meant was I will have the power to bring us closer. To make sure that we are stronger than ever and she won’t be tempted to stray again. When you make a commitment, son, you keep it. Like me, I said I will see you once a month or more and I always do. Well, I made a commitment to her that she would always be my number one and that she would always have me. I don’t break my promises.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  2009

  Billie

  When Eric learned that Billie had a boyfriend, the steady routine that she had become used to of blacking out any of the uncomfortable encounters with him was blown apart. She had been at Clatford’s Jump with a group of the kids in the village. Billie and Carl had held hands as the raced towards the edge of the embankment and then they had leapt, still holding hands, into the river below. The force of the water wrenched Billie’s hand from Carl’s. She surfaced, laughing from the adrenaline coursing through her body.

  “That was awesome,” she crowed as hands wrapped around her waist from behind. Carl’s laughter sent shivers down her body. She loved his laugh and the feel of his hands on her. His touch made her feel at peace in the crazy life that she was living. The heat from his hands was searing on her freezing cold body. She focused on that and all her worries disappeared.

  “Again, my love?” he questioned with a smirk.

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  She pulled his arm to lead them out of the river and back up to the embankment. There was a queue of children waiting to jump off the edge, this was the highest and safest spot to jump, so on one of the rare warm summer’s day, the kids all gravitated towards it. Carl sat down waiting for the queue to get smaller; he pulled Billie down so that her back was against his chest. She half turned so that she could look up at him and his lips lowered to hers. A shiver of passion went through Billie. She wasn’t even embarrassed that everyone could see. All she could feel was him and her, and it was like the rest of the world shrank away. What do you know, she thought, the films and books weren’t exaggerating, love was as amazing as they portrayed it. A cold splash of water broke them apart and the sound of raucous laughter surrounded them.

  “Thought you needed cooling down,” one of the lads nearby quipped. Billie got up from the floor, wiping the water from her face, she was soaking wet from their first jump, so it was futile. Carl’s arms took their usual place around her waist and his nose nuzzled her neck. The wind had picked up and blown her hair into her face.

  As she shook her head to get rid of it, she caught sight of a figure on the opposite side of the embankment where there were lots of trees and plants and a small pathway that was part of a long nature walk. It followed the river for a while. At the point the path moved off towards the village, she could make out the slim figure of a man. The stance and his customary blue jeans and designer black raincoat let her know exactly who it was. He was stood rigid from what she could see from the opposite side of the river. Just as she felt her legs give way, he turned around and started to walk back towards the village. Carl’s arm held her firm and he glanced at her puzzled.

  “Sorry,” she said. “I just went a little dizzy.”

  “Maybe you should sit down for a bit?” he suggested. The look of concern in his eyes nearly caused her to start crying then and there. But she knew if she did that, then she would end up confessing to him and that would be the end of their love. She wasn’t stupid, boys don’t like liars. This whole side of her life was a lie.

  “Actually, I think I will head home,” she replied. “I’m not feeling so great.”

  “I’ll walk you,” he insisted. She shook her head.

  “No need. You stay. Please. It’s only five minutes up the road. I will call you later.” Before he could protest, she kissed him and then began to walk around to the bridge.

  Once over the bridge, she followed the path along the opposite side of the river. She hurried after Eric. She knew that it was better to speak to him now. She had angered him once before when she had refused to let him put a £20 note into her knickers and she had stayed away, thinking that he would be less angry once he had time to cool off. Instead, he had taken it upon himself to convince Billie’s mum to let him take her to her a violin lesson. He had driven her in silence and then suddenly pulled over on the side of the road and cried. He was so distressed that she had stayed away from him, that he had missed her so much and that he only wanted to talk to her. When something was wrong, he liked to sort it out. He didn’t play games.

  She hoped that he wasn’t too aggrieved this time. She hadn’t told him about Carl because she knew how much it would upset him and she was wary of his reaction. It was so frustrating, some days she hated him for all of the things that he was doing to her. But then other days Eric was so nice to her that it made her brain hurt from trying to understand how someone so kind and caring could force her to do things like pose with her pants around her ankles so he could take photographs. She had learnt that when she complied with everything that he wanted her to do there were no threats to her sister. He was actually nicer to her whole family when she did what he asked. She hoped that he wasn’t too upset. He must realise that she would be interested in boys. She felt really nervous. She didn’t know what she would do if he cried again. It was really awkward and she didn’t like seeing a grown man cry. God, why did her life have to be so complicated. He was an elderly, caring monster that somehow managed to make her care if he cried.

  She caught up with him quickly. It was like he knew that she would come straight away. He leant against a fence that was along the path. He just looked at her, his eyes were flashing and intense. Once she was close enough he strode towards her, he had something in his hand but she didn’t have time to work out what it was because he had his lips pressed against hers, hard. She tried not to grimace. She hated doing this. He stopped just as suddenly.

  “Let’s go home,” he growled at her. At least he wasn’t crying, she thought. He motioned her to walk in front of her; she sighed and then began to lead the way up the path. She was working out what she could say to him when she felt the blow to her back. She fell forward to her knees, crying out in pain and shock. Waves of agony swept through her, it felt like her back was on fire. She turned around on her knees to work out what was going on. She saw his arm lower towards her and the small, thick branch that he was holding smack against her side. The force of his attack sent her down on her side, gasping for breath. She had never felt pain like it. She curled up on her side waiting for another blow.

  Instead, she sensed him kneeling down and coming close to her head. She could feel his hot breath on her cheeks as he moved his lips to her ear.

  “You stupid little whore. How could you let a boy touch you like that?” His voice was soft but laced with an anger so fierce she was too scared to open her eyes. “You are a slut. Is that what you want people to say about you? Why do you think he is touching you like that?” He had paused, reaching his hand down to her face. He cupped her face with his fingers and forced her to meet his eyes. His blue eyes were narrowed in anger. “Do you think he loves you like I do? NO!” He roared at her. She cowered against his hard grip on her face. “I love you so much and for you to go and let another person lay hands on you like that. Do you understand nothing? You are so stupid, can’t you see that he is just using you for sex? He won’t treat you the way that I do. He will never understand you the way that I do.” He stopped shouting and just stared at her.

  She felt her tears sliding
down her face but she didn’t dare move.

  His eyes softened. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I shouldn’t have hurt you. I was just so mad at you. Do you understand what it is like to have all these feelings for you and then see you with that boy? There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you, but I won’t share you.” He sighed, releasing her face. “Maybe I chose the wrong sister. Maybe your sister is more deserving of all the love and attention that I give you.” He got up from his position next to her and began to slowly walk away. She fought through the pain that was radiating from her side and up her back. She hobbled after him and cried out to him.

  “Stop!”

  He slowly turned around to look at her. She had caught a glimpse of the knowing smile on his face before he was able to straighten his face. At that moment, she saw him for what he really was. She knew the truth. He could wrap up what he was doing to her as love and affection but that smile revealed that this was all just a massive manipulation to him. Her anger swept through, burning through her veins. She had been taken in by the gifts and the love that he had lavished on her. She had almost begun to think that this was normal. She had been convinced that he loved her and that he just couldn’t control himself sometimes. But now she knew. After four years, the cloud of confusion that had plagued her was blown away by the sight of that manipulative smirk that he hadn’t been able to hide. Before she saw that smile, she had believed him, that he was in love with her and that he even had every right to be mad at her. She even felt a tinge of jealousy that he was going to choose her sister over her. She was about to grovel and beg that he wouldn’t leave her.