The Puppet Master Page 7

  He lived in a state of the art, one bedroomed flat. He was proud to say it was a one hundred per cent ‘man cave’. The massive large screen television took centre stage in the living room. Directly opposite was a black leather L-shaped sofa that had taken four men to get up the stairs and into the flat. From the sofa, he could see the television but he also had a stunning view of the River Severn. On the right-hand side of the sofa was the balcony. He spent a lot of time on that balcony, watching the powerful current driving the water down to the city. It was calming and made him feel less alone. He was on that balcony now, it was helping to push down the growing feelings he was having for Billie. He was frustrated at himself, how stereotypical was he, falling for the girl he was supposed to hate? The sounds of the cascading river were easing his conscience and he felt his muscles relaxing.

  A scream pierced the night. It came from inside. It reverberated through his chest as he flung open the balcony door and ran into the bedroom where he’d left Billie. His heart was pounding with fear as the scream was of pure terror. Relief calmed his racing heart when he saw that there was no one in the room but her. He walked over to the bed and tried to untangle her from the sheets. She had wrapped herself and the sheets into a ball and had her arms around her head as if warding off an attack. Her breathing was erratic and between breaths, she was pleading, “Please, don’t hurt me.” Adam felt pain in his chest at her words. They were desperate and laced with pain and fear like nothing he’d heard before.

  He called her name, trying to wake her up, but it was like she couldn’t hear him. She was hyperventilating and the sound of her breathing was getting weaker. He tried to grab her arms to uncurl her but that just increased her panic. He managed to grip her ashen face in his hands. He tried to force open her eyes but they seemed to be rolled back into her head. He tried shaking her head, but his own hands were shaking more. He didn’t know what to do, he’d never seen anything like this. Was this a heart attack? He was about to let go and call an ambulance when he saw that her eyes had focused on him. Fear, stark and vivid, glittered in her eyes. Her clammy hands clamped down onto his arms.

  “Help me,” she breathed weakly.

  “Billie, you need to breathe.”

  “Please don’t hurt me!”

  “I won’t hurt you, I just need you to breathe.”

  He could see that she was beginning to calm down, he could barely hear her breathing so he presumed that was better than the wracking sounds of her gasping for breath he had walked in on. As he thought this, her arms dropped to the bed, her eyes closed and the room was silent. She’s dead, he thought. With shaking hands he felt her neck, trying to find a pulse but there was nothing. He leapt away from the bed. His whole body began to shake. He fell back into the wall and using it for support, he found the phone in the living room and called for help.

  He asked for an ambulance or the police or anyone, and gave his address. The phone dropped from his hand as a violent tremor wracked his body as he looked over at Billie. He slid down the wall and cradled his head in his hands. She was dead. It was all his fault. Why didn’t he call for an ambulance straight away? What the fuck was he doing? What was he going to tell the police? They would find out what he was doing. They would blame him. He had tricked her into coming, he didn’t get her permission. She woke up terrified and now she’s dead. Getting justice was so important to him, he’d lost sight of the fact that she was an actual person. With real feelings. He was just messing about with her to get what he wanted. Tears poured down his face. His body betraying the feelings his mind would not admit.

  He vaulted up as soon as heard the bell. Unable to speak, he felt dizzy, he pointed to the bedroom and then slumped back to the floor. A paramedic knelt down in front of him. “Are you hurt?” Adam shook his head. He didn’t think he could actually speak. The other paramedic, he hadn’t even noticed if it was a man or a woman, shouted that she needed help. Adam was left alone. After the longest couple of minutes, the paramedic came back and resumed his place in front of him. “She’s okay, son.” Adam looked up at the familial term, thinking for a minute that it was his uncle Eric. But it wasn’t, it was the paramedic. “Did you hear me, son? I said she is alright. It was just a panic attack.” It felt like every brain cell in his head was straining to understand. Adam felt like he was going to have a panic attack himself. The paramedic leant forward and pulled him up. He half dragged him through to the bedroom where he saw the oxygen mask on Billie’s face slowly bringing the colour back to her cheeks. He could see her eyes flickering as she grasped for consciousness. His relief was staggering. If he were not being held up by the paramedic, he would have collapsed.

  An hour after the paramedics left, Adam was in the kitchen drinking a glass of vodka. The whisky he’d had did nothing to calm him. Billie was asleep in his bed, she had gone into a deep sleep a few minutes after regaining consciousness. The paramedic assured him that this was normal, her body was just exhausted from the episode and that after some rest, she would be fine. Adam couldn’t even go in and look at her. His thoughts were so troubled and he felt so guilty for causing her such pain and fear. He needed time to process his thoughts because her panic attack had prompted his brain to make connections that he’d not considered until now. So Adam fixed himself another stiff drink and tried to sort through the emotions and thoughts burning in his head.

  What had happened tonight made him look at his time with Billie in a different way. Memories of her that he hadn’t noticed at the time swam around his head. The way that she would begin to shake uncontrollably whenever she was near people she didn’t know, her eyes would dart here and there, as if looking for an escape. The pain in her eyes when he brought up her parents. The sadness he’d seen the first time he met her. When she ran out of his flat crying, after watching the violent attack on the television, he’d put that down to guilt, but when he considered her reaction along with all the fearful reactions that she had, it didn’t fit. And the bracelet. Oh God. How did he not make that connection? And then there was tonight. The unadulterated terror and pain in her eyes; you couldn’t fake that. Guilt couldn’t cause that sort of reaction. Why would she be so scared if she was the villain? It didn’t add up. He had toyed with this idea before, but now he felt certain that Billie was innocent. She just wasn’t the person he had been led to believe she was. He needed answers and there was only one place he was going to get them.

  Billie

  The day after her night at Adam’s house, Billie lay in her own bed her body was exhausted but her mind was anything but. She couldn’t believe that she’d had a panic attack in front of Adam. She had experienced panic attacks nearly every day since she’d left university. Most of them happened as a result of nightmares in the night. It was only the full bodied exhaustion and tightness in her chest the next morning that made her realise that she’d had another one.

  She didn’t really remember very much about last night. She remembered seeing a figure hanging over her, trying to pry her arms away from her head and it had made her quake with fear. She had felt her lips tingling and her chest shooting pains of protestation at the lack of air in her body. The next thing she knew, there was a paramedic, shaking her into consciousness, explaining that her boyfriend had called them when she passed out. She was just able to tell the paramedics that no, this wasn’t her first and yes, she was in therapy dealing with them. Once they were happy to leave, she had given into the exhaustion that had been biting at her heels, trying to drag her under. She had sunk gratefully into the sweet oblivion of sleep.

  When she awoke, Adam was perfect. He didn’t ask any questions. He had always shown her kindness and attentiveness, but this time, she sensed something different in the way he was treating her. More than once she caught him looking at her with a multitude of emotions flickering across his face so fast that she couldn’t quite decipher them. His touches lingered, and his kisses were intense. When she first opened her eyes, she had felt humiliated but that soon dissolved when
Adam, realising she was awake, lay on the bed next her and wrapped his arms around her. His muscular arms were holding her so tightly it should have been suffocating but it wasn’t. He didn’t question her, he didn’t even mention it, he just made sure she was okay and nuzzled into her, holding her to him like she was his oxygen. It was just what she needed. The warmth and affection were the medicine she didn’t know that she had been missing.

  After some breakfast dutifully cooked by a quiet but dutiful Adam, she’d insisted she wanted to go home. She’d put him out enough and she needed some time to be alone to absorb and contemplate everything that had happened. He’d texted her every hour since, just to check in and see if she needed anything. It was so endearing, it was like seeing her in such a state had brought them closer. She revelled in the knowledge that someone cared about her and was worrying about her.

  So now she was lying in her own bed, petrified at the decision she had made. She was going to tell Adam everything. He had shown her that he was trustworthy, honest, and compassionate and she knew that he cared deeply for her. He wasn’t going to shy away from her past. If he could see her in the midst of a panic attack and not run for the hills, then she could have faith that he would be able to handle her troubled history. She had never told anyone what happened to her and she had never wanted to. But Adam had always been honest with her, it was only fair she gave him the same respect.

  She had realised around a week ago that she was falling in love with Adam. It was after one of his mad ideas, flying a big kite that needed two handles to control it, on the top of a place called Lickey Hills. It was for his column, but Billie wasn’t so sure; Adam was like a big kid with how much he enjoyed it. It was nice for her, though, as it kept him entertained and she could sit on a blanket and read a book, with the sun gently warming her, soaking into her skin. That was until she was cajoled into having a go. By that time it was so windy, she had actually been swept off her feet by the force of the kite. She only avoided being injured as Adam had managed to grab her at the last minute before she plunged down the hill. He wanted to live life to the fullest and it was infectious. After hibernating for so long, she had to admit she was loving every minute of their crazy cycle rides that had no destination, walks to everywhere and anywhere. Adam shared her adoration of nature and it made it even more special to visit sites of natural beauty and have someone who also appreciated the sight of a rabbit darting across a field of luscious green.

  As Adam drove them home, Billie had taken the cover of darkness and his preoccupation to truly look at him. She stared at him, his angular face; she knew every expression that face could make. She felt like she knew everything about him. Her heart grew in her chest as she took in the hint of stubble on his chin and down his throat. When she first met him, she had thought he was handsome. But since she had got to know him it was as if his appearance had changed. She no longer just saw just a handsome face, she saw the creases by his eyes when he laughed, she saw the spark in his eye when he was about to kiss her. She saw the way his lips would slightly pout when he was deep in thought. When she looked into his eyes, she didn’t just see the pale green colour, now she saw his feelings, the happy gleam or the darkening of anger, or her personal favourite his wicked gaze that made her want to find the nearest bed straight away. Wait, did she really just think that? What happened to the fearful, timid girl she was only months ago? When she looked at his body, she didn’t just notice the clothes that fit tightly to a well-toned body. She saw the safety and strength in his body. As she considered all this, Adam absently took her hand, like it was the most normal thing in the world. She closed her eyes and focused on the feel of his hand around hers. It felt like her chest was constricting with all the emotion that she felt and that is when she realised that she was most likely in love with Adam. She couldn’t tell him, though, she wasn’t ready for that.

  But now she wanted more than anything to tell him everything, how she felt and who she was and had been. He had made her a better person. He’d taken away her fear of life. Okay, she was still scared of strangers and when she wasn’t with him, she would shrink back into herself. But when she was with him, she felt like she could do anything. With his strength and security wrapped around her she could walk with her head held high, she could look at other people and not be filled with ice-cold fear. He had shown her all the things she had been missing when she sequestered herself away and she loved him for that. He made her feel good about herself and not just a piece of meat. In fact, he hadn’t even mentioned or tried anything sexual. She had been holding her breath after each kiss, waiting for him to try it on. But he hadn’t. It was like he sensed what she needed, sometimes before she even knew. She’d never been in love before but she knew that what she felt for Adam was beyond friendship. Her favourite book was Jane Eyre and Billie had never been able to understand the intense love Jane had for Mr Rochester until now. She felt that she had a bond with Adam as strong as they did. The epic romances she had read swirled around her mind in a new light. She wanted to talk to the characters and say, “I get it now, isn’t it wonderful? How do you cope with your heart expanding with love; like it wants to escape and go to him?”

  Reliving her relationship with Adam solidified her decision. She was going to tell him everything. She called him on the phone and when he didn’t answer, she left a message for him to come over that night for dinner. She was going to pop to the store and cook him his favourite meal. She got out of bed, ignoring the protests of her tired body. It was four in the afternoon, she didn’t have long left to get the flat spruced up and the dinner cooked. Even though the thought of reviving all her carefully repressed memories filled her with distressing trepidation, the feeling that this sacrifice would be the first step of the rest of her life far overrode this fear. She focused on all the possibilities her life now held, with Adam at her side.

  Adam

  Adam got out of the car and shuddered at the sight of the grim grey building which housed the bedsit where his uncle was forced to live. It was worse than his uncle had said. The poor man. He never let Adam visit; it was always the other way round. He understood why now, if this is where he lived. Adam felt embarrassed about the blatant showing off he did when his uncle visited his newly built studio flat with a view of the river. He hoped his uncle was in, he hadn’t been able to reach him and he really needed to talk to him. He was the only one with the answers. He had barely slept and he couldn’t function until he knew what the hell was going on.

  He walked up to the block of flats and went in; his stomach was flipping with trepidation. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing the inside of the building when the outside looked so dismal. He checked the address his uncle had reluctantly given him a while ago, when he’d pestered him for an address in case of emergencies. He made sure of the flat number and went up the grimy concrete stairs, trying his best not to breathe in the nauseous fumes of urine and drugs. It wasn’t right that his uncle should have to live here. Adam had tried so many times to get him to come and stay at his flat but his uncle was a proud man. He was quite happy helping people but he would not take help for himself. He was so selfless. Which was why Adam was here. Uncle Eric always made him feel better, he would sit patiently and listen to anything Adam wanted to get off his chest and then he would tell him what to do. His advice was always available and there wasn’t anything Uncle Eric would not do for Adam. He knocked at the door of number 66, immediately wishing that he had used his foot or something else he would not mind getting dirty. There was a shuffling noise from behind the door and it popped open and a dirty, wrinkled old man looked Adam up and down with a scowl. Adam was taken aback by the dishevelled man and struggled to remember what he was going to say. The man was ghastly, his grey hair was matted together, with what looked like bits of food stuck in it. His clothes had holes in them and looked like they’d never been taken off. Could this man be a friend of Uncle Eric?

  “Excuse me, I’m looking for my uncle Eric?”

&nb
sp; “Who’s asking?”

  “His nephew.”

  “Wait a minute.” He walked off into the room and searched amongst a pile of takeaway wrappers for something. Finding a piece of paper he walked back. “Let me see, nephew… aha!” He looked up at Adam and said, “He’s out visiting a friend.”

  Adam’s brow creased, something wasn’t right. “Is my name on that piece of paper?”

  “Maybe.” He grinned at Adam, obviously enjoying whatever game he was playing.

  “Well, it either is or isn’t.”

  “How much is it worth?”

  “Excuse me? I don’t understand.”

  “Look, son, in case you haven’t realised by now, I don’t do nothin’ for free. If you want to know the truth you need to pay me more than your uncle. Oops… wasn’t supposed to tell you that.” Instead of looking guilty, he looked like someone who had played their ace card. Adam couldn’t deny it; he was confused and intrigued what exactly was going on.

  Either way, he needed to know. Pulling out his wallet he said, “I’ve only got twenty on me.”

  “That’ll do,” the man said, snatching the money out of his hand. “Your uncle doesn’t live here, he paid me to tell anyone that asked that he did, and gave me a list of things to say depending on who called here. Little did I know that it would be such a money making scheme.” He rubbed his hands together, the picture of greed.

  “I don’t suppose you know where I can find him?”

  “You’ve run out of money and I’ve run out interest.” With that, he slammed the door.

  Adam walked back to his car in a daze. Why on earth would his uncle say that he lived in a place like that if he didn’t? More importantly, why would he pay someone to say he lived there? Once again his journalist senses were screaming at him. He needed to do some digging. If he didn’t find his uncle, he would not get his answers.